Written by Sarah Harmon, LMHC and Founder of Parent Wellness Group, a therapy collective supporting parents with individual, couples, and group therapy, and The School of MOM, a movement helping women tap into their personal and innate thriving.  

Have you ever stopped to think about what mothering actually means? Not just in relation to our children, but as a practice of caring for ourselves?

As someone who has spent years working with mothers and diving deep into this question, I've come to understand that mothering is fundamentally about tuning in, assessing needs, and taking intentional action to meet those needs. And here's the interesting part – this definition applies whether we're talking about mothering our children or mothering ourselves.

Breaking Down Mothering Ourselves Mindfully

Let's start with a clear definition: Mothering ourselves mindfully means regularly tuning into your mind, body, and all parts of yourself to acknowledge your present moment experience and needs and assertively taking care of those needs with mindful discernment, self-compassion and intentional action.

Sound familiar? It should, because it's exactly what we do for our children! Think about those early newborn days (if you haven't completely blocked them out like I have 😉). We're constantly tuning in, trying to figure out what our baby needs, and doing our best to meet those needs.

The Power of "Ourselves"

When I talk about mothering "ourselves," I'm speaking to two important aspects:

1. Our Multiple Selves: Just like in the movie "Inside Out" or the therapy approach called Internal Family Systems, we all have different parts of ourselves that emerged at various times in our lives. Some parts might be anxious, others critical, and still others confident and calm. Mothering ourselves means acknowledging and caring for ALL these parts.

2. Our Collective Experience: Healing and growth don't happen in isolation. Just as our challenges often arise in relationship with others, our healing also happens in community too. This is why having a supportive community of other mothers who "get it" is so powerful.

The Four Key Components of Mindfulness 

Mindfulness is more than just being present – it's about how we show up in that presence. Here are the four key components of mindfulness:

1. Curiosity: Being open to exploring what's happening both inside and outside ourselves
2. Discernment: Taking that mindful pause to assess what's truly serving us (and what isn't)
3. Acceptance: Meeting whatever arises with openness rather than resistance
4. Kindness and Compassion: Bringing gentleness to our experience, especially during moments of struggle

Why This Matters

Think about how you mother your children. You likely bring attention, care, and compassion to their needs. Now imagine directing that same quality of attention and care toward yourself. This isn't selfish – it's essential. When we mother ourselves mindfully, we're better able to show up for our children, our partners, and our communities.

Getting Started

The beautiful thing about mothering ourselves mindfully is that it's not a one-size-fits-all approach. While the foundation stays the same – tuning in, assessing needs, taking intentional action – how this looks in practice will be unique to you and your life.

Some days, it might mean setting a boundary around your time. Other days it might mean giving yourself permission to rest when you're exhausted instead of pushing through. And sometimes, it might simply mean pausing to acknowledge how you're feeling without trying to fix or change anything.

Remember, just like mothering our children, mothering ourselves is a practice. It's not about perfection – it's about showing up with presence, compassion, and intention, one moment at a time.

If you’d like to dive deeper into this work, you can learn more about Sarah’s programs in The School of MOM. You can also reach out to her therapy collective, Parent Wellness Group, where there are therapists who understand this work and are ready to support you.