By Kristin Revere, MM, CED, NCS – Owner & Founder of Gold Coast Doulas
When people picture breastfeeding, they usually see a sleepy baby—peaceful, milk-
drunk, and snuggled in. What’s harder to see is the mental weight that so often comes
with it.
Let’s be honest: breastfeeding is tough. Sure, it’s natural. But that doesn’t make it easy.
Whether you're exclusively nursing, hooked up to a pump all day, triple feeding, combo
feeding, or navigating the NICU—it’s a lot. And no one really prepares you for the
emotional side of it.
The Invisible Load No One Talks About
Feeding your baby isn’t just physical—it’s mental. It’s…
- Trying to remember which side you fed on last
- Wondering if your baby got enough milk
- Tracking feedings, diapers, and sleep
- Googling symptoms and latch tips at 2 a.m.
- Wondering about how to connect with your partner during this time
- Stressing about returning to work and how it’ll affect your routine
It’s hearing someone say “soak it all in” while you’re crying into your tea and trying to
hold it all together.
You Are Not Alone
At Gold Coast Doulas, we hear this all the time:
“I didn’t expect breastfeeding to feel so difficult.”
The pressure, the responsibility, the guilt, the fear of not doing it “right.” It’s real. And it
doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong; it means you care.
So, if you’re in the thick of it, we want you to know that you are not alone.
Give Yourself Permission
You’re allowed. Really. Let me say it again:
- You’re allowed to protect your mental health
- You’re allowed to supplement with formula
- You’re allowed to ask for help
- You’re allowed to stop breastfeeding if it’s not working for you
Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You get to define what success looks
like—for you and your baby.
How to Lighten the Load
You don’t have to push through this season alone. Here are a few ways to make it a
little easier:
Share the responsibility
Even if you're the one breastfeeding, your partner can help. They can bring the baby to you, handle diaper changes, or take over a bottle feeding so you can rest.
Create a cozy feeding zone
Set up a space that feels comforting. Think soft lighting, snacks, water, and something
to keep you company—your favorite show, audiobook, or a book you never have time to
finish.
Protect your peace
Turn down the noise. Log off social media. Skip the late-night Google spirals. You don’t
need every opinion or post in your headspace right now.
Build your village
Support can look like texting a friend during a tough feed or booking a session with a
lactation consultant. It can mean hiring a postpartum doula to lighten the load. We have
a whole team ready to help when you’re ready.
Let yourself feel
Some days will feel like magic. Others will feel like you’re barely making it. That’s okay.
Cry. Journal. Talk it out. Your feelings are valid, and expressing them doesn’t make you
less of a mom.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
Breastfeeding is emotional. Beautiful, yes—but also exhausting. Please take care of
yourself as fiercely as you take care of your baby.
You’re showing up. You’re learning. You’re doing your best. And that’s more than
enough.
We see you. We support you. And we’re always here if you need us.
Need More Support?
Check out the Breastfeeding & Newborn Survival classes—online, self-paced, and
packed with real-life strategies to help you feel more confident and less alone. Check out our Ask the Doulas podcast and birth and baby prep book.
About the Author
Kristin Revere is the owner and founder of Gold Coast Doulas in Grand Rapids,
Michigan. She’s a certified birth and postpartum doula, newborn care specialist,
childbirth educator, and co-author of Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby. Kristin
also hosts the Ask the Doulas podcast and is a proud mom of two, and a bonus mom to
one.