Written by Jen Burke, infant and perinatal mental health therapist of Bloom and Rise
As a perinatal therapist, I often sit with clients as they navigate the emotional highs and lows of pregnancy. I help them recognize signs of anxiety, hold space for their fears, and remind them that what they’re feeling is real—and valid.
But when I was pregnant, I realized firsthand how intense those feelings can be. Despite all my knowledge and tools, I still found myself caught in a constant loop of worry:
“Is he moving enough?”
“Is my blood pressure too high?”
“What if something goes wrong during the birth?”
A lot of that anxiety was rooted in my history—specifically, past loss and medical trauma. Even when everything looked fine, part of me stayed braced for something to go wrong. I wanted to feel calm and confident, but instead, I often felt like I was constantly scanning for danger.
And still—I liked being pregnant. Despite the nausea (oh my gosh, the nausea!), I genuinely enjoyed it. I loved feeling him move and preparing for his arrival. But those positive experiences didn’t cancel out the anxiety. I held both at once: joy and fear, gratitude and unease. It’s a truth many people live with but rarely talk about.
Antenatal Anxiety—and the Depression No One Talks About
Antenatal (or prenatal) anxiety is more common than people realize. It can show up in ways that feel all-consuming:
- Worrying constantly, even when there’s no clear reason
- Trouble sleeping or relaxing
- Feeling physically tense or mentally overloaded
And while my own experience centered on anxiety, it’s important to say that antenatal depression is also very real for many expecting parents. It can look like:
- Persistent sadness or disconnection
- Loss of interest or motivation
- Feeling numb, hopeless, or overwhelmed
It’s easy to assume these kinds of feelings only happen after birth, but the truth is—they can begin during pregnancy. And they’re just as deserving of care and attention.
Social Media Was a Trigger
One thing I didn’t expect during pregnancy was how much I’d need to limit social media. At first, I thought scrolling would be comforting—baby clothes, parenting advice, positive birth stories. But I quickly realized I was being hit with things I wasn’t prepared for: traumatic posts, loss stories, pressure to be a certain kind of parent.
Eventually, I had to step away. Not forever, but enough to give my nervous system a break. Curating what you consume is a valid and important part of protecting your mental health.
What Helped Me—and Might Help You
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure right now—please know you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong. Here are a few things that helped me personally, and that I often recommend to others:
1. Say It Out Loud
Whether it’s to a therapist, a partner, or a trusted friend—naming what you’re feeling can be incredibly powerful. You don’t have to carry it silently.
2. Limit the Noise
It’s okay to take a break from social media, online forums, or conversations that spike your anxiety. You are allowed to protect your peace.
3. Grounding Practices Work
Breathing exercises, gentle movement, journaling, or simply placing your hand on your belly and checking in with yourself—small practices go a long way.
4. Let Go of the “Shoulds”
There is no one right way to feel during pregnancy. You don’t have to love every moment, be glowing all the time, or match someone else’s experience.
5. Medication Is Sometimes the Right Support
If anxiety or depression is affecting your ability to function or enjoy your life, know that some medications are considered safe during pregnancy. Talk to your OB-GYN or a perinatal psychiatrist. Getting help is not a weakness—it’s an act of care for both you and your baby.
You Deserve Support
Pregnancy is full of contradictions. You can feel excited and terrified. You can feel connected and overwhelmed. You can feel strong and still need help.
Whether you’re someone who’s typically calm or someone who struggles with anxiety outside of pregnancy, these feelings don’t make you less of a parent—they make you human.
You’re not alone. You’re not failing. And you don’t have to carry this by yourself.
If no one has told you yet today: You are doing a beautiful job.